Friday, July 31, 2009

"My experience is what I agree to attend to", or Why William James Was Right on the Money, or James 8:32






Winifred Gallagher was on Radio West today talking about her book Rapt. If you'd like to hear what she has to say, and I think most of you should want to, especially if you are my age or younger, then go here. If your older than me, and you feel drawn to technology, or you feel that your cell-phone or the Internet are necessities...you should listen too.

I've been mulling ideas similar to what Gallagher addresses for a long time. Recently, Elder David Bednar of the LDS church spoke along these same lines, experiencing things as they really are, versus the experience of the virtual. I think he was approximating many of these ideas expressed by Gallagher, though his purpose was distinct. If you'd like to read what he said, go here.

Again, there is much to say here, this could easily become a term-paper-length post...but I must attend to the thesis. The following paragraphs are some comments by Winifred Gallagher, taken from the amazon page for her book. Please read as much of the linked information as possible and listen to the broadcast, and then turn off your computer and walk away...like your David Laraway...ahhh yeahhhh.


"A wise research psychiatrist once told me that he had identified life's greatest problem: How to balance self and others, or your need for independence with your need for relationship? Since writing Rapt, I've come to believe that we now face a fundamental psychological challenge of a different sort: How to balance your need to know—for the first time in history, fed by a bottomless spring of electronic information, from e-mail to Wikipedia--with your need to be? To think your thoughts, enjoy your companions, and do your work (to say nothing of staring into a fire or gazing dreamily at the sky) without interruption from beeps, vibrations, and flashing lights? Or perhaps worse, from the nagging sense that when you're off the grid, you're somehow missing out?

Science's new understanding of attention can help shape your answers to this question, which pops up all day long in various forms. When you sit at your computer, will you focus on writing that report or aimless web browsing? At the meeting, will you attend to the speaker or to your BlackBerry? Research suggests that your choices are more consequential than you may suspect. When you zero in on a sight or sound, thought or feeling, your brain spotlights and depicts that "target," which then becomes part of the subjective mental construct that you nonetheless confidently call "reality" or "the world." In contrast, things that you ignore don't, at least with anything like the same clarity. As William James succinctly puts it, 'My experience is what I agree to attend to.'

The realization that your life—indeed, yourself--largely consists of the physical objects and mental subjects that you've focused on, from e-bay bargains to world peace, becomes even more sobering when you consider that, as the expression "pay attention" suggests, like your money, your concentration is a finite resource. How can you get the highest experiential return for this cognitive capital? By focusing on some screen or on playing your guitar? On IM-ing your old friend or joining her for a walk?

Considering the Internet's countless temptations and distractions, deciding how best to invest your time and attention when you're online is particularly challenging. Left to its own devices, your involuntary, "bottom-up" attention system asks, "What's the most obvious, compelling thing to zero in on here? That e-mail prompt? This colorful ad?" Fortunately, evolution has also equipped you with a voluntary, "top-down" attention system that poses a different question: "What do you want to focus on right now? Ordering that new novel, then checking the weather report, then getting back to work, right?" Sometimes, it's fun to just wander around online, allowing your mind to be captured by random, bottom-up distractions. In general, however, it's far more productive to focus on top-down targets you've selected to create the kind of experience you want to invite.

Along with making clear choices about what things merit your precious attention online, there are some other simple ways to protect the quality of your daily life from technological interference. Remember that your electronics are your servants, not your masters, and don't let them choose your focus for you. Abandon vain attempts to "multitask," because when you try to attend to two things at once—phoning while checking e-mail—you're simply switching rapidly between them, which takes longer and generates more errors. When you need to concentrate on an important activity, try to work for 90 minutes without interruptions, because rebooting your brain can take up to 20 minutes.

Most important, as you go about the day, bear in mind that by taking charge of your attention, you improve your experience, increase your concentration, and lift your spirits. Best of all, enjoying the rapt state of being completely absorbed, whether by a website or a sunset, a project or a person, simply makes life worth living. We cannot always be happy, but we can almost always be focused, which is as close as we can get. -Winifred Gallagher

Monday, July 27, 2009

Secrets Revealed: New Moon and the Surprise Plot Twists You Won't Read in the Book!


Not only does Edward not understand what a vegetarian is, he also has really bad vampire gas from only eating small animal's blood instead of the human blood that he needs in order to get enough protein. In this scene Bella inquires about Edwards unusually stinky vampire gas and why he always makes this "I'm concentrating" face when he lets one fly.

Mom's and women over 30 are still fantasizing about Edward Cullen though they continue to hide the Victoria's Secret catalog from their husbands.


Really? This is the guy women are getting excited about? I'm not much of a looker myself but this dude is a total douche. I called up an old friend of mine, Wesley Snipes and told him that I knew about this really wussy vampire dude that was conflicted about whether or not he wanted to be a vampire. Wesley told me he would take care of things.


Edward: Oops! I just let another one go, sorry Bella.
Bell: It's okay Edward, farting makes you like seven times more masculine than you already are.
Edward: Thanks for understanding my inner conflict. I just don't know if I want to be very masculine, this whole weak-sauce-vampire thing is really working out...I...huh, what? Nooooooooooo!
SWORDS, SLASHING BLOOD (not the vegetarian kind) AND GORE!!!

Blade: That's right sucka! Who's a vegetarian now?!

SURPRISE ENDING!!!!! HA HA AH AHA AHAHAA HA AHA HA HA AH AHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
If you don't know who Blade is, look here.

Stephen Colbert: Keeping America Safe from Commies!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

All the Names

The first chapter of my thesis addresses the notion of the dead returning to collect on some sort of symbolic debt. Zizek writes that the dead often return if "something [goes] wrong with their obsequies” or there is “a disturbance in the symbolic rite” (Looking Awry 23).



I thought of this, and many other ideas, as I read this LA Times article about an increase in the number of bodies being unclaimed because of the down economy. The above image from the story evoked, for me, passages of Jose Saramago's excellent novel All the Names. I think the photo shows a real version of what Saramago was getting at metaphorically. There are a lot of ideas intermixing in this sad news story, among them: a notion of archive that is subverted because it is made up of actual human remains, the notion of the name of the person representing their essence, the idea of the physical remains representing the essence of the deceased, the symbolic relation between the living and the memory of the dead. In a way, this is my thesis...it's only missing the fictional element and is, therefore, much more tragic. I wish I could write more, but I need to get back to chapter 2.

Fanfarlo - "Harold T. Wilkins, or How to Wait for a Very Long Time"

I have to admit, I'm very much out of the loop when it comes to current music. I'm approaching that age when I start to think that they don't make music like they used to and I don't recognize the names of any of the bands that my students listen to. Yet there are a few groups that I get really excited about listening to. They are, in no particular order: The National, Sigur Rós and Fanfarlo. Here is a decent song from a group that I hope to enjoy for years to come.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Un lugar en el mundo


I once saw an Argentine movie in my Hispanic Cinema class called Un lugar en el mundo, directed by Adolfo Aristarain. It was nominated for an Oscar but due to red tape was later revoked of its nomination. The story is about a family that lives a peaceful life on their ranch in spite of a local economic bully that wants the cooperative (to which the family belongs) to sell to a developer. I won't say more, just that the last scenes are what I remember most. One of the main characters says something like, "I can't leave. I've found my place in the world and this is where I belong". I'm eager to find my place and to stay there. I want to learn the placeways and history of the place I live, and then I don't want to leave.

A friend of mine told me that he and his family have drawn closer together since leaving Utah, the place they've lived since they were married, and moving to a place far from their extended family. While I don't know that he would call their current location "a place of their own", from what I've gathered, it has sort of fulfilled that function, even if it's a temporary thing.

When I was visiting St. Louis I felt a real peace, like I belonged there, at least for a time. There was a silence I experienced there, it was calming. There was a feeling of history and other things that were inviting. But my family and I won't be moving there.

I'm still trying to figure out why I made the decision I did, to go back to California. It's a place for me that is full of ghosts, a place that can't be my lugar en el mundo. I'm not the person I was when I left California and returning, as it always does, implies haunting. My ghosts will turn up from time to time, I won't even need to tease them out. My memories that are so connected to place will tease out the ghosts, and everywhere will be uncanny.

I was at once drawn to California and terrified by it. My feelings reminded me of what Freud calls death drive. In many ways, my decision doesn't make much sense. But maybe I need toreturn..."Acaso para exorcizar, de un a vez, los murmullos que mataron a Juan Preciado [vuevlo] a Comala" (Julieta Campos).

Thursday, July 16, 2009



You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're lovable, so lovable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing

I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're lovable, so lovable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power on?
Well, let the drum beat drop

Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot


Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Coming Soon to a Cave of Montesinos Blog Near You!


A post about Herbert von Karajan, his membership in the Nazi party, my love affair with his recordings and my dreams of being a conductor.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Website


So when I was younger I never fully knew/understood what my Dad did for work. Later I was able to do an internship at his office and I learned about his work and the company he worked for. It was a good experience and I enjoyed going to work with my Dad every day for the summer.

When my brother started working with computers I was also in the dark about what it was, exactly, that he did. Though he would explain it to me, I still never got it (I'm the least intelligent of the two brothers in the family). Now I get it, he does this.

My big brother Dan designs websites for movies and he puts together all the components that make it work and allow you to navigate the page, working with Flash. He designed the website for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. If your a Harry Potter fan and you dig the website, you can say, "I know a guy who's brother designed the latest Harry Potter movie site". And that is a cool thing.

Side note: I just saw The Life Aquatic last night. For some reason I really like Bill Murray in Wes Anderson movies. I'm drawn to his melancholic roles (which he's done more of lately) in the same way that Orson Welles's films appeal to me, especially The Chimes at Midnight.

Monday, July 6, 2009

The aftereffects of a conversation with Alex Shafer, or, The Ghost in Me

In junior high I had an English teacher who's name I can't remember. I can still see her strange smile in my memories and I'll forever associate her with Ray Bradbury's short story collection I sing the body electric. If I remember right we read a story called "The electric grandmother" in her class. I was tickled by the novelty of a grandma who could fill up my glass of O.J. with a spout form her finger and I don't think I realized how creepy or uncanny that would be. Sometimes though, I wondered if our teacher wasn't trying to tell is indirectly that she was an electric grandmother. There was something a bit weird about here that I could never pinpoint, know I realize that she could have been a cyborg.

The Borg from S.T.N.G. were always the scariest bad guys Jeann-Luc Picard as a Borg scared me to death when I was a teenager. At the same time Locutus was "Rad!" and "Kick butt!".

"[M]odern developments in technology and telecommunication, instead of diminishing the realm of ghosts [...] enhance the power of ghosts and their ability to haunt us". That is a quote from Derrida playing a pretty good Derrida in the not so pretty good 1984 film Ghost Dance by Ken McMullen. Despite the bad acting, Derrida does say some interesting things. What's interesting are not so much his ideas, (he says nothing new), rather, the intrigue comes from the fact that it is Derrida addressing the subject of ghosts and technology, something that sci-fi had been aware of for years.
(If you want to see the guy that plays Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies play the drums and drop the f'bomb a lot, rent it. But good luck, there's a reason it's not an easy to find film)
Listen to this song by Electric President and check out the lyrics here. The lyrics are clever and there is a healthy dose of irony in the title as well as the lyrics.



I still can't believe I was never able to take DP's class on science and literature. I had a chance to redeem myself by going to Wash. U. to study with AB, but for reasons I still can't quite fathom I'm going to UCI.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wherin "The Man" (or Interlibrary Loan) is trying to keep me down...and how I subsequently stick it to "The Man"


I recently requested a book from ILL titled Buenos Aires, Buenos Aires. My friend Mac told me about it and it seemed like it could be a useful source for my thesis. It's a neat book containing several photos of Buenos Aires, taken by Argentine photographer Alicia D'Amico. She sent them to Julio Cortázar in Paris and he wrote a companion text to the photos. It's not an earth shattering book but it's fun to see the circa 1968 photos of Buenos Aires and to read Cortázar's reflections. He can't avoid the overwhelming feeling of nostalgia while looking at the photos and he also muses a bit on the nature of the photograph. At one point Cortázar refers to the photos as ghosts, coming back to haunt him. He also writes about the french word for ghost, revenant, which is an archaic loan word in English. This is the part that I need. And I should have scanned that section of the book when I requested it the first time, but I'm retarded.

So I decided to request the book again from ILL but my request was canceled, here is their explanation as to why it was canceled:

Dear Benjamin Cluff:

A request you have placed:
Buenos Aires. Buenos Aires. has been canceled

Reason for cancellation:
This is a duplicate request.
We have another request from you for the same piece. We just returned this exact same item for you. Unfortunately because of the cost of ILL ($35 per item) we do not reorder the same item for the same patron. It is cheaper for the patron to buy the book than it is for us to reorder the same item over and over for the patron.

Sorry,
Ti'Ata Sorensen
Borrowing Supervisor


I'm fine with what they are doing, trying to save cash, but I was a bit put off by the fact that she told me I could buy this book for less than $35 or $70. So, being the mature individual that I am, I responded in this way:

Dear "The Man",

In regards to your reason for not requesting the book. I thought you might like to know that it was printed in Buenos Aires in 1968 and has been out of print for years. It is not available for purchase anywhere and a friend of mine once saw a used copy of the book for sale, it was $2000. So, no, it is NOT cheaper for me to buy it than it is for you to request it. However I understand that my request is simply another victim of the economic downturn and not a reflection of the quality of service I receive from the ILL staff.

Best,

Ben Cluff


I'm not mad at ILL, they are doing their job. But I still need the book. So what shall I do? Friends don't let friends suffer without the books they need. My good friend, who will remain unnamed (in case "The Man" is reading this) is going to request the book for my use. I'm not usually one to stick it to the man, but in the writing of an M.A. thesis, sometimes one has to.