A very playful photo of Paul Ricoeur
Víctor Erice
A shot from El espíritu de la colmena
A friend introduced me to Ricouer's notion of a second naivete. More than just a usefull idea, it is a comfort to me at the moment. I've finished 5 of 7 PhD applications, the final envelope will brave the cold of the mail system this weekend before ariving in Lexington.
I've started to deal witht the fact that there is a very real possibility of not being accepted to any program. Equally as scary is the possibility of getting accepted to one of the programs I'm very excited about.
Having finished my coursework and soon the applications, the specialty exam and thesis are next, no small task. This week I will of course read, study, prepare notes, but more than anything I will again enjoy films. I'm sitting in on a film and philosophy course this semester with my mentor. So far it's been great and I expect it will only get better. In a way this is a return to my roots.
Growing up 20 miles south-west of Los Angeles, not being a surfer, my weekends were spent at the movies. If we didn't go to the local cinema my friends and I would rent three movies and stay up all night watching them. I would never last into the third film, which was a bummer becasue the first was often a cheesy action movie (read Jean Claude Van Damme - check out his recent film, it's all theoretical and crap. I'm serious...man).
My two best friends were actors by trade, I was mesmerrized by movie music. I wanted to be a film composer. I even went all the way to Boston and got my foot in the door at a place where I could realize my dream. Howard Shore attended the school, he won three Oscars (also a dream of mine at one point).
Since then I've learned a thing or two about analyzing films, my taste has matured, and my love of literature manifest itself as a logical extension of my penchant for a good story. Yet, rather than grow cynical or hard nosed (I do make exceptions for films based on certain vampire novels in which the vampires are vegetarian...come on, please tell me she's joking. Please tell me that people I used to have some respect for didn't read those better as a paper weight piles of stuff.) I've found a second naivete.
The feeling of awe as I sit before the big screen never leaves. The anticipation for the previews and the longing to be lost once again in another world as I walk out the theater doors into the sunlight are still familiar. The film scores allow me to revisit the story in my mind and feel the same emotions. I love film. Billy Wilder, Alfred Hitchcock, Orson Welles, George Lucas. Spy films, detective stories, cowboy movies, sci-fi. As my taste now tends to lead me to foreign films I continue to love the stories and characters that I accompanied on those countelss summer weekends. To that kid with six dollars and change in his pocket, popcorn and red vines, they were and continue to be real to me.
3 comments:
Epic post. I really enjoyed it. I have sudden "ganas" to go watch a movie. At the theater. Eating red vines.
Reading about your sudden stroke of self-doubt, I have an eerie sense of déjà vu. Here comes a story, so you may want to skip the next paragraph.
A few weeks before being accepted into the MA program, I started to really, sincerely, genuinely worry that I would not get into the program. At my greatest moment of preoccupation, I happened to be walking past Dr. Pratt's office, his door was open, and he invited me in. I told him how worried I was, and he told me this: "Jared, a meteor would have to come out of the sky and land on the JFSB destroying the entire Spanish department for you not to get into this program." That helped to cope with the next couple of days before I finally got the acceptance letter.
Call me psychic (or perhaps psycho), but I really REALLY have a STRONG feeling that you are going to make it into at least one of your programs. Heck, 7 simultaneous meteors would have to fall from 7 discreet locations above Kentucky, Penn State, UCI (heaven forbid), Vandy, NYU, etc. for you not to get into AT LEAST one of your programs. Wait and see, it will happen. 'Til then, go watch a movie--enjoy your symptom!
You are definately your fathers son. He was raised at the movies and loves the escape as well as enjoyment of a good story. So...I won't tell you he wanted to see the Vegetarian Vampire movie. It's just a story Ben, you'll be ok becuase he is ok and he's seen it.
Now the part about falling alseep for the last movie I understand and can relate ; if it's after 9 I will usually fall asleep in the first 5 minutes of the movie. It took dad renting Dune 13 times for me to see it all the way through.
Oh and its Junior Mints and popcorn not Red Vines.
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